When my daughter was young, I wanted to make Thanksgiving a meaningful day. It couldn’t just be about food, eating turkey, and then, after having eaten too much, going to sleep! To me, that felt like a wasted opportunity.
So I went to the library
…and came back with an armful of books with stories about Thanksgiving. (And truthfully, having been born in The Netherlands, I also wanted to understand more. More about the background of this celebrated day in the USA.)
After some perusing, I came to the conclusion that whatever happened around 1620 seemed not quite clear.
But, I found out that there is a romantic version about Thanksgiving (like in children’s books) and a contrasting version.
It says that “settlers and the Indians were brought together less by genuine friendship than by the extremity of their mutual need.” (Wikipedia)
So which version of this dinner was going to help me raise my kid? Helping me focus on the values I want her to understand?
Talking about the generosity, respect, and sharing that all unfold in a story can be wonderful: The tale says it all, and preaching is not necessary.
Yes, you guessed it, I went for the romantic version, which helped both of us to understand gratefulness–or, like the Dalai Lama says, “When you practice gratefulness, there is a sense of respect toward others.”
I read to my daughter that this “…First turkey meal is fantastic: the feast lasts for three days. People eat and sleep and then ate again.” (From the book: The First Thanksgiving, by Linda Hayward, a step 2 book, grades 1-3).
It seemed a no-brainer to celebrate an abundant harvest with the “Indians.” They had so generously, welcomed the pilgrims when they came across the ocean in that “horrible boat.”
That reminds me of this quote by Melody Beattie:
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”
—————————————————–
“Sharing deer meat, turkey, lobster, goose, onions, pumpkin, cornbread, and berries, they celebrated shelter, food, and friends.” Now the abundant table at Thanksgiving made sense to me! I was salivating, reading about all that delicious food like turkey, pumpkin, berries. (From the book: The First Thanksgiving, by Linda Hayward, a step 2 book, grades 1-3).
This book happily continues that during that three-day feast, “They have shooting matches. The children play games like tag and blind man’s bluff. Everyone has a wonderful time.” Or, like William Arthur Ward says, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
My daughter and I were so excited for the people playing around after the meal!
The thought of them being cold (maybe intense cold) never crossed our minds, since the drawings show well-dressed pilgrims. (And for now, let’s just lay aside the fact that the writer hardly mentions the ladies or the moms; it was all about the men and the boys.)
It made me so happy about the romantic version of Thanksgiving that I launched the idea of introducing more gratefulness into our lives to my family: “Who wouldn’t want that?” I said to my husband. So we made that effort during our dinners in the years that have followed.
As Melody Beattie says: “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
I always wanted to raise a girl who would be a strong woman when needed, but also, one that comes from humbleness, thoughtfulness, and gratefulness.
Now that she is in college, we just sent her some money. This would help her put on a beautiful Thanksgiving dinner for her and her college friends. It also lets her say ‘thank you’ to them.
Putting it this way, as Ralph Marston says:
“Make it a habit to tell people ‘thank you.’ To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you’ll find that you have more of it.”
Happy ThanksGiving, I am grateful to you and all that you do in your life.
If you’d like to know the 3 interesting and unusual questions that we ask each other during dinner in my family, and you don’t have them yet, please download the booklet here!