We truly want a better world for our kids. Yes?
We don’t want our kids to hate or be hated. No?
This thought has to foremost live in our own family. Do you agree?
If we parents come from love rather than from hate, we can be a role model or guide for our kids in how they can deal with love or hate. True?
Now, and here is the catch, are you ever in a bad mood? Do you ever think: “Leave me alone, Don’t do this, Don’t speak to me, Don’t get me even more angry or upset, Don’t push my buttons….
Do you ever get upset? Or maybe hate?
How to deal with that?
Suppressing? Changing?
I definitely get angry!
When I am upset, I try to prevent myself from getting overly upset and thus unhappy. I know that if I cross a certain point, it will become a downward spiral and then eventually I could begin to beat myself up.
In those low moments, my self-talk sounds like this: I should have, I could have, now I really messed things up… When my daughter was younger I would tell myself also that I had ‘damaged her for life with my anger, my bad mood, my outburst.’ You may know what I am talking about… I was not exactly the kind of role model I had in mind.
Recently I read this quote that “when the heart is at war everything is imbalanced.”
I have since thought a lot about this and I find it to be true for me. When my heart is at war (which means that I am upset, unsettled, not at peace). No matter what anyone sees from the outside, no matter how hard I try to hide it.
I know that I have turned into a version of myself I don’t particularly like; a person who doesn’t want anyone in their way, who wants to control everyone or who wants to be left alone. Inside I yell: “Leave me alone, Don’t do this, Don’t speak to me, Don’t get me more angry or upset.”
When my heart is at war there are not only lots of ‘do not’s’ for the people around me, also, I am not nice to myself, thinking negatively about my actions and my interactions with others.
When my heart is at peace
But when my heart is at peace, the opposite is true. The house can be a mess, the kids can quarrel, my partner can be in a negative mood.
My neighbor can be inconsiderate, my work can be challenging but, it all doesn’t really matter because I feel fine. It feels like I have an endless source of energy, a lot of love to give, I am (very) understanding and forgiving, I can easily let go of what is unimportant.
When my heart is at peace, I can take on the world and I can be a role model. Do you know this feeling too? Would you like to feel that way more often? Would you like the tools, tips, and ideas on how to get there? Tools, tips, and ideas that help you with become the mom or dad you want to be…?
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www.greatparentsempower.com, tel 415-848-9013, email: info@greatparentsempower.com (ask for Mooniek). Mooniek has 22 years experience as a mom and 17 years experience as a master coach.